![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
askamanager_feedIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My boss told a coworker I’m full of myself
I was hired from outside the organization two months ago to turn a lagging department around. My boss, the CEO, was hired from outside about eight months ago for the same reason.
This week my peer told me, “I told Boss that he knocked it out of the park hiring you. He said ‘Yep, and she really sings her praises, too.’”
I’m sooo embarrassed. I had no idea that I’d made any comments that came across that way, let alone enough to be a trend. My confidence is badly shaken.
I have been critical to my boss about many things I have found going on in my division, and then I have outlined for him how I am changing them. I have often said things like, “Why would my predecessors have done this that way? It doesn’t make any sense!” I can absolutely see why this came across poorly. I’ve been trying to demonstrate that I am doing what he hired me to do: identifying problems and implementing solutions. Instead, I’ve just come across terribly.
In addition to changing my behavior immediately, should I address this topic with him generally, without mentioning that I heard this feedback from my peer?
Yeah, criticizing your predecessors isn’t great in most circumstances. You can factually report on things you’ve found that need to be changed, but generally you should do it without editorializing about their judgment.
I probably wouldn’t raise it with your boss at this point; just be very deliberate about not doing it any more and that will hopefully take care of it. That said, if you’d be more comfortable addressing it, you could say something like, “I realized I’ve sounded critical of Marcel and Paige, and I didn’t mean to. I’m sure they had reasons for setting things up the way they did, and I don’t have the context they did.”
You could also make a point of looking for opportunities to demonstrate humility and to genuinely praise others, both of which should be helpful in counteracting whatever early impression he might have formed.
2. We don’t want employees wearing shirts with political messages
I’m a manager at a very small and young company. We do not have HR, and we’re trying to figure out an employee code of conduct that is both respectful and legal.
Our company provides services to the public as a whole, though we especially cater to and market to queer/trans, BIPOC, and other marginalized communities. As such, many of the people who choose to work for us are members of those communities (though not all) and are generally quite politically liberal.
Recently one of our customer service employees wore an item of clothing that showed their ideological view on a subject that is both controversial and often associated with liberal views, but the subject was in no way related to the work we do. I personally do not agree with the view, but my feeling is that even if I did agree with it, it was an inappropriate thing to wear in that setting since it 1) wasn’t relevant to our work, and 2) could be upsetting to some of our customers. Also, a member of our staff was wearing it at work could imply that we as the organization hold views that we definitely do not.
As a result, we on the leadership team are talking about producing company-branded shirts and asking our employees to wear those. While that may take care of the immediate clothing issue, we’d like to create a dress code and/or code of conduct that makes it clear that we will continue to be obvious about our support and inclusion of marginalized communities, but we also discourage display or discussion of other political views when they are not relevant to the purpose of our work. Do you have any guidance for how to draw that line?
Switching over to requiring a company shirt every day — essentially a uniform — is an overreaction unless there’s some other reason to do that.
You can simply have a dress code that prohibits political messages on clothing (or messages/writing/images if that seems easier/cleaner than debating what counts as “political” and what doesn’t) — which is a very common and routine policy for employers to have. Explain that it’s to avoid alienating customers who hold different views and to avoid giving the impression that the organization itself endorses the viewpoint. You can note that the organization very well might endorse the viewpoint, but it’s impractical to evaluate every t-shirt in advance to ensure it’s aligned with your messaging.
If people seem irked because they think some messages should obviously be allowed (for example, a pro-equality t-shirt), explain that without a blanket ban you’ll end up spending time debating exactly where the lines are, which will end up distracting from the actual work you’re there to do.
(And I write this as someone who won’t be returning to a massage clinic I’ve gone to for years because I don’t want a massage from someone whose water bottle has a sticker inciting violence against Jews. People do remove their business over this stuff.)
3. Everyone has suddenly started using my full name
My name is a very standard first name for American men, but I go by a very standard nickname of said first name both personally and professionally (think “Matthew” and “Matt”). I’ve been at my current job for a little over two years and have rarely had a problem with people calling me “Matt” before the last couple of months.
At the end of our staff retreat in June, one of our executives referred to me as Matthew in front of our entire staff. I made a joke about him using my “government name” and that being absurd as I’ve always gone by Matt, which he apologized for. Beginning around the same time, he’s done it again, our CEO has done it, directors have done it. I’m getting introduced to external partners as Matthew. I just learned that one of the interns I managed from the summer, when she and I had a discussion about others calling me by the wrong name, referred to me by my full first name in a social media post.
I realize this has a different flair than the standard “manager compulsively nicknaming employees,” and it feels silly, but I feel wildly disrespected. While my full first name is a great name that I enjoy, none of these people are my mother and I feel like I’m about to get scolded. I began at this company with my nickname and that’s how everyone has met me. There are only 25 of us and I’ve been in roles spanning across the organization; everyone knows me, and this is not from a lack of familiarity.
I’m extremely consistent about correcting people when it happens and reinforcing that my name is, in fact, Matt, but it keeps happening and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not being taken seriously because of this. What would you advise?
That’s extremely odd! Can you just address it directly with each person who does it the next time they do? For example: “You and others recently started calling me Matthew, but I’ve always gone by Matt. Can you return to using Matt?” And then if that same person does it again: “Okay, what is up with this? It’s Matt, and I’m baffled about why everyone has switched en masse. Can you help me remind people it’s Matt?” And from there, if it still keeps happening, just correct it every time and move on: “It’s Matt. The answer to your question about oatmeal research is…”
4. Is this interview request excessive?
I’m in the middle of a lengthy job hunt and am midway through an interview process for a fairly senior role where they have now asked me to create a 30-minute roadmap presentation for the future of their product. To support this, they’ve sent me 8(!)+ hours of video training and several lengthy scholarly articles that I need to read all before even starting the work — with the interview in less than a week. This feels excessive to me but I’m looking for a gut check. I haven’t interviewed in years and that was for entry-level positions. My years of reading AAM are throwing up flags but with how the job market is now it’s also hard to feel like I should just stop this process.
It’s excessive — the eight hours of video “training” (?!) more than the rest of it.
Whether or not that means you should decline to do it is a different question; you’ve got to factor in how much you want the job, your sense of how strong a candidate they think you are, and how many other options you have. But it’s excessive, for sure.
Related:
should you do free work as part of a job interview?
5. Announcing a new job if you just announced a different job
You’ve written before about how to handle having to turn down a job offer that you already accepted. My question is, how do you handle the announcement to peers on LinkedIn and the like when you make a sudden switch like that? This is all still hypothetical, but it could very quickly become something I have to contend with.
I recently accepted an offer for a contract gig after a long search and posted my happy news on LinkedIn, receiving many congratulatory accolades from colleagues and friends. After accepting, I canceled an interview for a second contract gig that had been scheduled for a few days later. Though the job description was a good match for me, the rate was ridiculously low and the recruiter hadn’t gotten back to me when I emailed him about raising it. The evening after I notified him of my withdrawal, the recruiter suddenly came back saying the client is very interested in me and they may be able to make me a better deal than the one I accepted and they want me to keep the original interview slot.
I want to be ethical and professional, but what’s the best move here? Is it wrong to at least hear them out? I want to be an honorable person, but this is a brutal job market and I’ve been laid off twice in two years, so I also need to do what’s best for me and my family as well. Sigh. Even if it doesn’t make me a horrible person, just the thought of rescinding my acceptance and disappointing/angering/inconveniencing so many people makes me feel like a monster.
Finally, back to that LinkedIn announcement. If I did accept the second gig and had to rescind my acceptance of the first one, what should I do about that post? Just leave it to gather dust? Quietly delete it and eventually change my status to reflect my new job? Post an explanation (apology?) of what happened with a new announcement? Delete my LinkedIn profile altogether and go into hiding? Something else?
Go to the interview and assess the job (and their offer, if one materializes). You get to do what’s best for you, including backing out of an offer if a better one materializes. It’s business!
For LinkedIn, you’d just write something like, “Change in plans! I’m happy to announce that I’ll be working as a senior frog historian for the Amphibian Coalition, beginning next week.” That part isn’t a big deal; people know this stuff happens.
The post my boss told a coworker I’m full of myself, employees wearing shirts with political messages, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
